Friday, October 8, 2010

the big picture

"The little things piling up is what stops hearts." -Ryan Marshall, Pacing the Panic Room

I don't want to chronicle my struggles with the little things but I really wanted to share that quote. I can relate a lot to the context Ryan was sharing it in because I want nothing more than to be that photographer who is so in love with their work that all I can talk about is the love. When I bounce around, full of glee and giggles at my own photos, people take notice and talk to me about photographing them. That is the big picture. But the little things (balancing school and photos, trying to start a business, not always valuing my work what it's worth, etc) lurk in the back of my mind and sometimes make me panic. Photography is supposed to be fun. It's the love of my life. If I ever had to go completely without a camera, I think I would be miserable because it is such a huge part of what makes me happy. I'm working at not letting the little things pile up and get to me; I'm trying to take lots of tiny steps towards where I am going. And I am really freaking happy about it. I refer to it as "chasing a simple dream" but really, I am just highlighting the aspect of my identity that I am most passionate about.

I wandered around the Greenway today with Doug and did not take very many pictures. But those I did take are going to be part of a series I am putting together for myself.
dinosaur dragon tree
In case you don't see it, the top tree reminded Doug of a dragon and the bottom one looks like a dinosaur.
I also indulged in some environmental geekery by swearing loudly at the invading Caesar's weed and then posing with the one I uprooted (which sadly has probably propagated further).
greenway Caesar's weed
Doug and I even took photos for our Christmas cards, but I don't want to ruin the surprise.

This is what I love. That is the part of the big picture that I want people to see. My heart is in a lot of things, but photography has the largest part these days. I want whomever is reading this--whether it is as soon as I publish it or years down the line--to know me better and understand that I am willing to struggle to end the day grinning from ear to ear as I blog that day's photos.

"Well, is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak? An avalanche of opinions like the one that fell that I'm now underneath. It was my voice that moved the first rock, and I would do it all again. So I mean, it's cool if you keep quiet, but I like singing." -Bright Eyes

[For those of you who read regularly, do you like when I am candid? Do you want more photos and less words? Please let me know.]

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