I [heart] faces and textures

I've been lurking around I [heart] faces for a few weeks now, waiting for there to be a challenge that I felt confident I could participate in. I'm trying to put myself out there a little more and work outside my comfort zone and that means trying to participate in two contests a month. (Please don't quote me on that. Life sometimes interferes with ambition.)

This week's theme is textures, so I decided to use a self-portrait I took recently.

f/4, 1/60 sec, iso 200, 18mm on 18-55 kit lens, Canon Rebel XT, pop-up flash
stock from dying beauty stock (my beloved Clara, whom I wholeheartedly endorse)

I don't usually wear makeup or have my hair down or go without my glasses so it's kind of difficult to recognize myself in this photo. I may need to do this more often though, as my Facebook friends seem to like it.

" Life is not a play/it's what we make of the people we love"

This is Richard.

We like to listen to the Format together and dance around. Last Friday, we had a hipster-themed party. It was pretty great. I processed all the photos to look like they were taken with toy cameras, expired film, or were cross-processed.


I'd like to acknowledge that the two photos of me dancing around like a nut were taken by Richard. It's very hard to get photos of yourself being a total spaz when you are having a love/hate relationship with your vintage tripod.

small victories are big steps

I finally finished the Ohio photos! And that just makes me want to blog about them even less. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the photos and the stories and the memories. I just need some time to think about something else and enjoy shooting projects entirely for myself. It's a small victory that is requiring me to take a big step.

I'm pushing for more work for the University Press so I can have a paid position. Once again, small victory that is requiring me to up the stress level in my life.

So yesterday, I took my somewhat deflated balloons from the glow party and showed them my favorite places to be. The light wasn't golden and perfect, which suits me just fine. I have a cooler colored temperament sometimes. I just want to be chill.


I have been experimenting with different means of mimicking using my old (film) cameras and expired film. This shoot had a somewhat nostalgic feel--especially with the peace sign in the cement--and I just could not resist going to town.

...we interrupt the regularly scheduled content...

I'm still going through the Ohio photos but I could not resist bringing a little color and flair to you.

Program Board has an coffeehouse music series every spring called Java and Jams in Jupiter which I'm hopefully going to cover for University Press. I covered the 'preview' show in November and had an amazing time with Tad Dreis (who got his own post here) so I knew I could not miss last night's show.

The first show of the season was Abi Cook. I can only hope the other musicians live up to the standard she set. She is soulful, quirky, and a huge sweetheart. When Austin and I spoke to her before the show, she was actually interested in my photography. And her only request was that I post the photos on Facebook and tag her in them so she could see them. I wish more musicians were that nice about my camera. In exchange, I tried not to blind her too much with my rediculous flash of doom (which I am still getting used to).

I wish photos could convey her presence. She just sings from the heart and the entire room feels warmer and more inviting.


Now, let's just hope that retroactively telling UP that Austin and I covered the show works out.

my introduction to snow [trip part two]

read part one here first

We started driving up to Ohio around 5 in the morning on December 18th. The drive went on and on and on... The drive from Crestview into Alabama didn't take too long but once we were in Alabama, it seemed like we'd never get out. Part of the problem was that the highway was randomly closed with no detour signs so we sort of drove around for a while, attempting to make our way far enough that we felt we could get back on. Tennessee was pretty nice. But by the time we got to Kentucky, I was ready to be out of the car. The temperature was 35 and taunted me so. It started dropped further as we approached the Ohio state line and hit 32 as we officially crossed into the state. By the time we got to the gas station, it had started to flurry.
So, in typical Brenda fashion, I stood there in the middle of the gas station in my pajamas and a hoodie, taking pictures of the snowflakes twirling in the breeze.



The next morning, I pried myself out from under the covers and bundled up for my first day playing in the snow. My feet sunk right in.

Rather than building a snow man, Doug and Cassie decided to make a snow dinosaur.


Then, we headed out to Doug's grandparents' farm, where I became properly acquainted with the wonders of winter.



This is Dusty. He is warm and lovable and in charge of adventures.

That early morning hike through the woods was everything I expected this trip to be. It was cold and beautiful and slippery.

Grandma Linda took this photo of Doug and I. His sense of wonder and my dopey grin say it all.

it may be Florida but I'm far from home [trip part one]

I'm still working on the photos from my adventures to and in Ohio but I figured I should probably address them home and at least attempt a cohesive narrative. I'm linking the photos from Facebook, so they may not be the best quality.

My trip began December 13th at 4:30 in the morning, when we woke up to begin the drive up to Crestview. As we drove and the sun began to rise, we actually drove into fog. The fog did not lift and actually got thicker and thinner as we went, which was absolutely photogenic but made driving slightly less pleasurable for Doug.


I also discovered that Northern Florida has hills.


The next day, I launched right into adventure mode and went to Pensacola to see my best friend from preschool. Layla had us meet her at a pizza place in the morgue of the old Sacred Heart hospital.


Being the kind of brave explorers we are, we climbed the well-lit stairs but made Doug go first anywhere that was dark and remotely creepy.

Since she had our undivided attention for a few hours, we decided to explore St. Michael's cemetery (the first of many cemeteries on this trip.)


Coming from South Florida, I really was not used to hills and history dating back more than 100 years. Say what you will but the area where I live was swamp until the early to middle twentieth century, depending on which definition of 'home base' I'm going by.

Strange as it sounds, I loved photographing the history of Pensacola and Crestview but the highlight of my stay was the people.
Seeing Layla in the flesh after being internet-only for five years felt fabulous, although I was caught slightly off guard by how much more beautiful she's gotten as she's grown into herself. Nineteen years of friendship later and we still cannot help but giggle when we're together.
Doug's immediate family also count as a highlight, although I truthfully had no idea how much they meant to me when I first met them. I'm not going to lie, there aren't that many photos of anyone except Doug and Cassie. But I spent those days getting to know Ms. Sherry and Mr. Andy, since I knew right away that they're family. I didn't really see too much of Kaitlyn, but that's to be expected since she's sixteen and has a social life. But Cassie... I bonded right away with his baby sister, Cassie.


Cassie totally appreciates my dorkiness.
I also fell in love with Doug's puppies.


We stayed in Crestview for four days, which felt like so long when we were discussing the trip but flew by while I was actually there. As soon as I got used to waking up next to Doug's three furry children, it was time to wake up early to drive to Ohio to begin our actual vacation.

there's a reason I have a tag for "apology"

dear home,
I'm trying to get back in the swing of school/go through the 850ish photos from Ohio/fight off a cold and so I've technically been gone over a month. At the moment, the going is somewhat slow but I couldn't let you think I had forgotten you.

In the mean time, I thought I'd share something completely unrelated because it's kind of important to me and I feel it really puts into perspective why I keep this blog. I have anxiety which tends to get the best of me if I don't fight it tooth and nail. There are days where it genuinely is a struggle to get out of my room for class, let alone go someplace with my camera and shoot. In a lot of ways, having a blog and sharing the adventures I do go on and the amazing photos I bring back allows me to remind myself why I need to get out and live. Addressing my posts to 'home' is both writing to the people in my life and snubbing my nose at the fear that tries to hold me back.

One of my friends organized an event on Facebook which she called Say What You Mean To Say in which she asked for us to change our profile picture for today only to a photo that says something we haven't necessarily been able to say but would like to (or need to, as the case may be). This is mine.

I haven't fully decided what I mean by it yet. But I do know that I want to be able to work in the field without being held back by my anxiety, regardless of what career I have.